Kirsty Allsop located in alternative universe

Kirsty Allsop, property matron, contributed a unintentionally hilarious moment to the otherwise tedious ING Direct newsletter I receive solely because they want me to take out a mortgage with them. During a self-serving rant about HIPS Kirsty charmingly declared in an outraged tone that the government would never dare interfere with professions such as teaching or doctors as they have so shamelessly interfered with property “professions”.

Presumably she would also be in favour of nationalising estate agents to ensure that their independence would never again be so threatened.

Celeb Spotting, London

Paul Whitehouse and Charlie Higson

Wandering past the Almeida, side by side, like they were friends in real life. Higson had a white paper bag, which given the location and the improbability that he was out seeking a crafty afternoon kebab suggests a bite to eat at Ottolenghi. There is a certain odd couple quality to them, Whitehouse slightly brash and London; Higson diffident, quiet, very well-spoken. Both smartly dressed and not short a bob either.

Spotting them together must be extra points. Weird trivia: I am one of twenty people who have actually read Higson’s novel Full Whack. It is gruesome in parts, strange in others and is the only book I have read that features a dash along the M4 through Wales during which all narrative momentum is lost.